The Measure of Friendship
by kazekagesama23
Summary: Sai tries to understand the nature of friendship. Unfortunately, he picks some very bad examples to study.


There was quietness in the air, a kind of stillness that complemented total silence. An errant cricket chirping its noisy cry into the vacuum broke it occasionally, filling the stillness with raucous noise.

Sai sat in the darkness of the very early morning, head tilted slightly in contemplation. There were many things that occupied his time, but none had inspired quite so much contemplation as the amorphous concept called "friendship".

Ever since witnessing the ties that his two assigned teammates had to that traitor Uchiha Sasuke, even after all the years and the betrayal, he had wanted to find out what this "friendship" was for himself.

What was it about this feeling that made mostly rational people turn a blind eye to the most heinous of crimes? Why did Naruto and Sakura still want to bring the Uchiha back to Konoha, even though he had made it abundantly clear that he did not wish to return?

As he contemplated a while longer, he realized that he would not find answers with what he knew at the moment. He needed more information.

And who better to observe than the duo that had sparked his interest in the first place?

* * *

Naruto whistled as he departed Ichiraku's ramen, his stomach stuffed to almost bursting. He sighed contentedly. There was nothing like eight bowls of ramen to get you going in the morning.

"Let's see, what should I do today…" Naruto folded his hands behind his head as he walked down the empty streets of Konoha in the early morning sunlight. He was glad he'd gone to Ichiraku's this morning, instead of having instant ramen.

The last mission that their team had taken had paid particularly well, so Naruto had decided to splurge. In fact, he had so much extra money that Gama-chan was still a rather overfed frog, even after shelling out for eight bowls of deluxe ramen.

"Can't visit Tsunade-baasan, she's kinda ticked off at me for that incident in the Wind Country." He had told her repeatedly that it wasn't his fault those four houses had been flattened to the ground. He was only trying his new earth jutsu that Kakashi sensei had recommended that he learn. They should have secured the foundations better.

Besides, how was he supposed to know that they belonged to the kage's son?

"Ero-sennin is probably peeking at the women's bath again." He wasn't sure how much material his perverted sometimes teacher needed, but it seemed to be a never-ending cycle.

Naruto frowned. His circle of friends was pathetically small, so he didn't have many options. "I guess I'll go see if Sakura-chan is doing anything today."

He continued down the street, taking his time and enjoying the warm glow of the rising sun.

He never noticed as a head peeked out from behind a nearby fence, and a shadowy figure darted after him, dodging from building to building.

* * *

"Mistress Sakura, would you like more grapes?" Sakura looked lazily up at Naruto where he was standing at the foot of her plush and incredibly comfortable couch. She took a moment to savor his enticing musculature, enhanced by the white toga he was wearing. His chiseled back tapered down into a beautiful butt, striking in its tightness. He may have been a blond haired idiot, but he had grown up to be quite the side of beefcake.

"No, Naruto, I think I'm fine. Fetch me some chocolates will you?" She groaned in pleasure as Sasuke massaged her shoulders. He was wearing a pair of plain black boxers and little else, resplendent in his near nakedness.

The hands capable of killing most shinobi effortlessly were surprisingly gentle as they found the tense spots in her shoulders and tenderly kneaded them out.

She sighed as Shino worked on her feet, his kikai bugs making runs between the couch and the table on the other side of the room, gathering herbal ointments and salves.

Shikamaru stood off to one side, looking distinctly uncomfortable as he adjusted his topless waiter's uniform.

A loud knocking sound shattered her moment of peace and tranquility.

"Whoever that is, make them go away…" Sakura murmured sleepily.

Naruto moved to the door and opened it, exposing an empty hallway. "There's no one here, Mistress Sakura."

The knocking came again, loud and insistent.

"Shikamaru, go find whoever is knocking and shut them up."

The lazy boy rolled his eyes. "Fine. Troublesome woman…"

He moved toward the window, stepping silently as he crossed the floor.

Then, there was another loud knock and the world grew misty around Sakura.

* * *

Sakura blinked as sunlight streamed in her open window, piercing her just opened eyes with its harsh beams. She groaned and rolled over, pulling her comforter closer around her body. It was Saturday and she deserved a little extra sleep. Maybe she could get back into that dream. Although she wasn't sure why Shikamaru was in there.

She growled in irritation as a loud bang echoed around her room, her window rattling in its frame. Throwing off her covers, she stormed to the window and threw it open. Her blond haired idiot of a teammate was readying another rock to throw at her window, not noticing that she had already opened it.

"Naruto! What the heck are you doing?" She looked back at her bedside clock. "Its seven forty-five in the morning you idiot! Who gets up that early on a Saturday?!"

Naruto sheepishly dropped the large rock he was holding. "I just woke up early today Sakura-chan. Do you wanna go practice?"

Sakura stared at him in disbelief, covering a yawn with her hand. "Not for another three hours! I want to sleep in!" She paused for a moment. "Why didn't you just knock on the door? I'm pretty sure Mom is up."

Naruto winced. "Well…I don't think your mom likes me very much. She shut the door in my face the last time I came over. So I figured it would be easier to go to your window."

Sakura frowned. She'd have to talk to her mother about that. She focused her glare on Naruto again. "I don't feel like dealing with this now! Come back in three hours!" She slammed her window shut and jumped back under the covers, burrowing into their soft warmness.

Naruto looked disappointed, but walked out of the yard.

"I guess I'll start practice by myself then. Sakura-chan will just have to catch up later."

The shadowy figure followed him with his eyes, before turning away and jumping to a nearby rooftop.

* * *

'Friendship does not necessarily guarantee civility. In fact, it seems to give license for rudeness.' Sai wrote quickly and smoothly as he transferred his observations to a blank sheet of paper.

'Rather than greet her friend in an agreeable manner she yelled at him and shut the window in his face. There is strong evidence to support a conclusion that the unwelcome reception was largely influenced by the hour of contact.'

He made a few quick notes. 'More receptive later in the day?' 'Weather?' 'Mode of dress?'

Sai shut the notebook with a snap. 'There is unlikely to be any more material from Dickless and Ugly at this time.' He thought for a moment. 'Perhaps I will observe the Hokage and Jiraiya-san. They are reportedly good friends.'

Then again, it would most likely be hours before Hokage-sama was up. Sitting down on the rooftop, he began a silent meditation.

* * *

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" There was an enormous puff of smoke and a small grassy clearing was filled with Naruto clones.

"Ok guys, spread out! We're gonna try something new today!" Naruto stretched his arms as he addressed the assembled clones. "We need some kind of area attack, like Temari's cutting winds or Ero-sennin's swamp attack. Since our strongest element is wind, I thought we could try to duplicate Temari's attack. Everyone get a partner and start focusing chakra!"

Naruto nodded in satisfaction as his clones milled about, choosing partners and focusing chakra. Kage Bunshin were incredibly useful to have, they made it a lot easier to learn techniques. After all, not many ninja could say that they had unlimited tries to get a dangerous jutsu right.

He didn't notice it, but when he had lost his first stalker, he had gained another.

* * *

Hinata blushed as she watched Naruto practice with his clones, gathering chakra and combining it. She loved it when Naruto used his kage Bunshin technique.

In fact, she sometimes had steamy fantasies about roomfuls of Naruto, hugging her kissing her, telling her that they loved her…she moaned quietly as she imagined being completely surrounded by Naruto, being held in his strong arms.

Blood trickled from her nose, and she gave an embarrassed squeak as she wiped it off. She'd have to be careful, thinking about Naruto-kun always made her nosebleed. She just had to not think about his muscular frame, his sea blue eyes, his impressively sized…she pinched her nose shut as it threatened to explode again.

There was a loud noise from the clearing and Hinata watched in awe as five clones working together created a compact blast of wind that was strong enough to completely uproot a medium sized tree.

Naruto cuffed one of the clones on the head. "It needs to be widespread idiot! We need an **area** attack!"

"We're trying, jerk! I don't see you doing anything!" The clone managed to look deeply offended as it rubbed its head. With a little more general grumbling, the clones went back to work.

There was a shout of excitement from another part of the clearing, and Naruto was blown off his feet by a short but powerful gust of wind. He got to his feet, grinning widely. "That's more like it! Keep it up!"

Naruto was turning to supervise his other clones when he caught a flash of purple at the eastern edge of his training grounds. With a quick jump, he was at the boundary. He blinked in confusion. "Hinata? What are you doing out here?"

Hinata blushed profusely. "Um, I..I was just watching N..Naruto-kun train…" She peeked up at him shyly. "N..Naruto-kun is very impressive."

Naruto grinned at the praise. "Hey, thanks Hinata! Say, do you wanna train with me? I could use a partner for taijutsu practice."

Hinata's eyes widened. "P..practice with N..Naruto-kun?" She bowed her head. "I'm not that good. I wouldn't be much help to N..Naruto-kun…"

Naruto put his arm around Hinata's shoulders, completely oblivious to the effect he was having on the poor girl. "What are you talking about? You're really good at taijutsu! You almost beat Neji during the Chuunin exams!" He chuckled as he leaned close to her ear. "If I were you, I woulda just kicked him in the nuts."

Hinata was a quivering mass of pleasure, her close proximity and Naruto's inadvertently intimate touch overloading her receptors. Her face flushed to a fiery red, and she wobbled on her feet. 'N..Naruto-kun!'

Naruto noticed the girl wobbling and steadied her with his other hand. "Are you okay, Hinata?" He bent close to her face, feeling her forehead. 'Maybe she has a fever or something.'

Naruto's face so close to hers was too much for the Hyuuga heiress and she pitched backward, out like a light.

Naruto grunted at the sudden increase in weight. "Hey, Hinata!" He set her on the ground, leaning her up against a tree. "Weird girl…I've never seen anyone who faints that much. I wonder if she has some kind of medical condition." He shrugged. Even if she did, he'd be more likely to beat Orochimaru with his hands tied behind his back and blindfolded than get information about her from the tight lipped Hyuuga Clan. And just about as likely that the bastards would even care about her.

Looking at the small watch that Sakura-chan had gotten him for his last birthday, he noticed that almost three hours had passed. "Maybe Sakura-chan is ready to get up now…" He gave a loud whistle and all of his clones stopped what they were doing.

"Okay guys, I need you to keep practicing until I get back with Sakura-chan! I want to have that jutsu complete when I come back!" He bounded out of the clearing and his clones resumed their work, muttering under their breath.

About a minute later, Naruto ran back into the clearing. With a sheepish grin, he picked up Hinata and ran back out

* * *

Hinata tentatively opened her eyes, then pushed them shut as she felt the sensation of rushing wind. Her head was resting against something warm and solid. It gave off comforting warmth that seemed to seep into her body, making her drowsy. She felt two arms around her, holding her in a bridal carry.

Raising her head slightly, she looked directly up into Naruto's face. "Grlk!" Hinata almost choked as she realized that Naruto-kun was carrying her. She shuddered with the realization that she was close to him, resting on his muscular chest.

'N..naruto-kun is…' A soft shade of pink tinted her cheeks, but she summoned every ounce of will that she had and determined not to pass out. After all, it would be such a shame to waste an opportunity like this.

Naruto looked down as he felt his burden shift in his arms. "Are you awake, Hinata? Here, I'll put you down so you can walk on your own."

"NO!" Naruto jerked back in surprise at the volume of Hinata's shout. "Eh?"

Hinata blushed in embarrassment at her unexpected forcefulness. "T..that is…I would like it if N..Naruto-kun would carry me a little longer…" She looked away, too nervous to meet Naruto's gaze.

Naruto shrugged. "Ok. I don't mind. But why do you want me to carry you?"

Hinata gasped at the inopportune question. "U..um, t..that is…I…" The diminutive girl shyly pressed her fingers together as she looked everywhere but at Naruto. Thus, she didn't see the low hung flagpole that clotheslined Naruto while he was distracted.

She did notice when she was abruptly and unceremoniously dropped like a sack of potatoes. "Ouch!"

Naruto rubbed his throat where a large red mark was forming, coughing a little as he tried to restore his normal breathing. "Who the heck puts a flagpole that low? You could seriously hurt somebody like that!"

"N..naruto-kun! Are you ok? Are you hurt?" Hinata worriedly checked her coat for her healing salves, specially mixed with Naruto-kun in mind. They were also useful when her father got too harsh in her training.

Naruto waved her away, hopping to his feet in one smooth practiced motion. "I'm okay, Hinata. Anyway, I'm going over to Sakura-chan's 'cause she said she'd practice with me. You can come along, if you want. We could use you as a second training partner."

Hinata nodded. "I would love to train with Naruto-kun."

* * *

Sakura hummed as she exited her small shower. Her parents had agreed to install a small personal shower for her as a present when she became a Chuunin. It was one of the few luxuries she allowed herself as an apprentice of the Legendary Sannin Tsunade. Her sensei was very unconcerned about appearances and expected that her protégé would be the same.

Sakura sighed wistfully as she remembered the lecture that Tsunade had given her when she first became the sannins apprentice.

"_Now, a serious kunoichi has no time for foolish things like love and boys. She can't devote her time to powders and mascara and other foolish diversions. She should look clean, yes. Presentable, yes. Perhaps a hint of blush, a touch of lipstick. But most of all, she should look professional and deadly. This is the most useful tool in a field that is mostly dominated by males." _

_Tsunade had paused, tapping her chin as she considered some other weighty matter. "This is not to say that there is not a place in the ranks of kunoichi for beauty or seduction. Most female ninja will be asked to carry out one of these missions at some time or another. Your friend Ino, for instance, is a natural flirt. She has the easy confidence that having a pretty face and good looking body brings. There is the matter of her chest, but she could easily use a small transformation jutsu to expand it, as most seduction mission targets are not ninja."_

_Sakura was listening raptly, but inside, she fumed a little. 'Forget Ino-pig, what about me! I'm beautiful too!'_

_As if reading Sakura's mind, Tsunade gave her an apologetic glance. "I don't mean to imply that you aren't beautiful as well, Sakura."_

_The taller woman cleared her throat. "But! As my apprentice, you will be expected to show up to training in clean clothes, and without a stitch of makeup. If I see that you have used some, I will personally scrub it off your face. Outside of training, I don't care what you do, though I'm hoping you'll project the same image outside as you do in here."_

'Professional my well toned…Tsunade-shishou sure doesn't worry about looking professional when she's passed out in a drunken stupor in her own office.' Muttering to herself, the pink-haired kunoichi turned her attention to more important matters. Such as, what kind of bra was she going to wear today?

After a short debate with herself, she decided that practice with Naruto wouldn't require anything special. Utilitarian was the thing, simple and practical. She could show up in a pair of dirty sweatpants and Naruto would still think she was beautiful. Now if only Sasuke could see what Naruto saw...

She dropped the towel to the floor and reached down into the drawer to pick up her all purpose blue bra.

However, Fate had it in for her that day. It was a little known fact that Fate had a rather nasty sense of humor. A little tweak here, a little subliminal suggestion there and viola! Instant free entertainment.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! Are you ready to…" Sakura spun quickly to see Naruto hanging on her window sill, his face an almost comical mix of surprise, lechery, and unbridled primal fear. Twin trails of blood dripped from his nose, staining his orange jumpsuit a rusty red color.

He hung there for a few more seconds, lust and surprise taking over his higher brain functions before the little part of his mind known as reason kicked him. Hard. 'Stop staring you fool! You're already a dead man, do you want her to burn the body too?'

He dropped off the windowsill, landing rather painfully on his back. Hinata rushed over, her indigo bowl of hair bobbing wildly. "Naruto-kun!"

"Ugh. Totally worth it." Naruto wiped the blood off his nose and the drool off his chin, but was unable to wipe the smile off his face. Sure, Sakura was going to maim him in creative and painful ways, but he'd get better. An opportunity like that only happened once in a lifetime.

Hinata bent worriedly over him, forgetting that she had unzipped her heavy jacket about halfway to relieve the heat that was building up inside. She also forgot that she was wearing low cut tank top underneath.

Hinata liked wearing risque shirts, they made her feel daring and sexy. Unfortunately, she was too terminally shy to consider showing herself in public, so she always wore the heavy jacket to cover herself. No one knew her secret, except Neji who had walked in one morning while she was getting dressed. And he sure wasn't going to tell anyone. She'd made sure of that.

Naruto frantically grabbed his nose as he got a picture perfect eyeful of Hinata's impressive cleavage. "Holy crap Hinata!" Sure, Tsunade-baasan's were bigger, but they were very saggy, as breasts of that ridiculous size are apt to be. Hinata's were both full and pert at the same time, and somehow managed to defy the normal laws of gravity.

Hinata started back. "What is it, Naruto-kun? D..did I do something..."

"Uh, it's nothing. Yeah...nothing." Naruto wiped his nose again, smearing the fresh blood onto his sleeve and painting it rusty red. 'Man, if I was Ero-sennin, I'd probably have enough "research" to write a new book. Why the heck is Hinata hiding **that**? She'd put that crazy examiner lady to shame.'

A loud hissing sound broke him out of his reverie, and a moment later his head pitched violently backward as a heavy brass ornament made a crater in his skull. "I..ite!" Naruto clutched his forehead in agony. 'Well, I guess if that's all Sakura-chan is going to do to punish me, I got off pretty lucky.'

He desperately wanted to be optimistic, but he had a sinking feeling that blunt cranial trauma was only the beginning of the damage that Sakura was going inflict on his much abused body. Well, nothing to do but take it like a man. He'd do it again in a heartbeat for a sight like that.

* * *

Tsunade shuffled her papers restlessly, as if it could somehow take away the impatience she was feeling.

Curse that Jiraiya anyway! Her old teammate was usually punctual, unless he was feeling playful. If he felt playful, that meant it was time for another game of "Try to scare the crap out of Tsunade". Of course, he felt playful less and less as his increasing years started to weigh on him.

Somewhere along the line, Jiraiya had let slip that his little games were all little mini training sessions. Sort of a specialized instruction in a particular area. And Tsunade had to admit, it had been very effective. Her aura detection skills had almost doubled over the time she had spent trying to keep up with her ever energetic teammate.

It wasn't that Jiraiya didn't have any redeeming traits, she admitted, it was just that they tended to be squashed under the massive weight of his other character flaws.

There was a very brief flash of a well hidden aura on the edges of her senses, like a scent on a passing breeze. "Jiraiya! I'm in no mood for your games this morning! Get in my office, now!"

There as a creak as her front door opened. "You're in no mood for what now? I wasn't even aware we were playing anything."

Tsunade waved him in. "Never mind. I thought you were in one of your weird moods." She reached out her aura senses to their limits, but the ephemeral presence was gone. "Sit down, I have a few questions to ask you concerning Naruto."

* * *

Sai pulled out his sketchbook and opened to his designated notes page.

'That was rather close. Hokage-sama nearly detected me. I should have exercised more caution. This range seems to be outside her ability to detect.' He still had a good view of the Hokage's office, but the extreme range left him unable to hear their conversation. Fortunately, Danzo-san had trained him extensively in the art of espionage and surveillance.

A simple hearing enhancement would do the trick.

His hands blurred through a few simple signs as he focused his chakra. 'Rat, Boar, Snake, Dragon, Rat'. He clutched his head as his brain found itself hard pressed to keep up with all the different conversations he was now hearing.

"So then she said to me…"

"Raikan! Come back here!"

"Shizonu-sempai…"

"HENTAI!"

"B..but Mizore-chan…!"

"…and I kid you not, these are the best tomatoes on the…"

"Baka! I told you not to…"

Sai's mouth turned down ever so slightly. Even after the numerous times he had practiced this particular technique, it was still very disorienting to try and filter out over five hundred different conversations. The trick was to let all the separate sounds wash past you and focus your chakra in the right direction.

The basic hearing enhancement technique was actually classified as a high level skill because of the enormous mental strain it put on the trainee. Those with particularly weak minds became overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information coming at them and went insane. And those were the lucky ones. Several promising trainees had actually experienced a neural shutdown and then it was up to their trainer to inform the family.

He focused even more closely as the conversation he wanted to hear. "..ant to know about Naruto? What about the brat?"

Tsunade shifted in her chair. "I just wanted to know how his training was coming. Hopefully he's learning better control. I swear, after all that hassle I went through with the Wind Country, I have half a mind to take it out of his miserable hide!"

Jiraiya gave a devious grin. "Well, I just might have that information. How much is it worth to you?"

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "What exactly were you proposing?"

Jiraiya's grin got wider. "Oh nothing much. I just thought maybe you could give me a little inspiration for my nov…"

A fist crashing into his face cut off Jiraiya's attempted bargaining. "Absolutely not. Now give me that information before I have to extract it by force."

Jiraiya winced as he cradled his bloody nose. "Ok, ok. No need to go gorilla on me."

Clerical workers in the lower levels looked upward in concern as the tower shuddered. Most agreed that it had simply been Jiraiya saying something stupid again.

* * *

"Friendship between males and females appears to have an imbalance, skewed in the direction of the male."

Sai's hand blurred as he transferred his newest findings to his notebook. 'Now, to correlate the data.' He studied his information with a practiced eye. 'What factor does each of these have in common? There is the male/female relationship although that does not hold true in the Naruto/Sasuke case. The abuse seems to be a constant factor…' Sai snapped his fingers as it all came together.

He wrote his last entry in the notebook and circled it.

"Friendship is blind devotion in the face of animosity."


End file.
